Things you don’t want to hear while having surgery…

These are just a few things that you really never want to hear while your having surgery (particularly because you probably don’t want to be awake while having surgery)!

1. “I wonder where this… thingie goes…”

2. “Did anyone see where my watch went?”

3.” Hey, Cleaner… you’ve seen this before… can you to finish this…  I have an important date…”

4. “We’re going to the mop for all this blood that I’ve spilt…”

5. “Which leg was I supposed to amputate?”

6. “Didn’t I have 5 forcepts before I closed him up?”

7. “I wonder if… there’s some way I can put this… part… back where it came from?”

8. “Oh this… nah…. she’ll probably be alright without  these extra parts”

9. “Hmmm… maybe I better put these parts somewhere… you know… in case we find out we need them or something…”

10. “Hang on a second… if this his spleen… then what did I just take out?”

11.  “You know… there’s a heck of a lot of money in kidneys… and, the guy already has two of them…”

12. “Sterile… smerile… the floors clean… I mean… the Cleaners mopped it, right?”

13. “Oops…”

14. “I sure wish my hands didn’t shake so much while I’m operating…”

15. “Hmm… I’ve stitched you up… but you’re going to have to come back tomorrow so we can finish where we’ve left off.”

16. “Can someone get me a text book…. or a diagram so I can see what I’m supposed to be doing?”

17. “Why are the directions always in Japanese?”

18. ” No, never seen or done this before… but once…. just once… I put together a whole Ikea Kitchen… this doesn’t look too complicated compared to that…”

19. “I think I put that in back to front…”

20. “Did your leg always move like that?”

21. “You better keep that… sometime the coroner likes to see it”

22. “Boy… I wonder if I should at least attempt to put these parts back together before the autopsy…”

23. “Don’t worry… I’ve worked with blunter instruments before…”

24. “Okay… so here’s the story… I never actually went to Medical School…”

25. “Will someone stop that thing from beating… its making it hard for me to think…”

26. “Wow… the other work-experience kids are never going to beleive that you let me do this…”

27. “Oh… his medical insurance is no good…. okay, I better take it out again…”

28. “What do you mean this isn’t my patient”

29. “Are you sure he didn’t want bigger boobs?”

30. “Remind me I need to pick up my glasses after this opperation…”

31. “So, I’m pretty good at taking all the parts out… its just putting them back in that I always have trouble with…”