Things you don’t want to hear from a Paramedic…
As a paramedic I sometimes have to break some pretty bad news to people or tell them that I have to do something that might make them a little more than uncomfortable. As the years have gone by, I’ve gotten better at telling people what is happening and what I’m about to do with a certain level of honesty and integrity that just makes it work… However, somethings… a patient just never wants to hear.
This is a dedication to those things that you don’t want to hear from a paramedic:
1. “This my first day on the road… but I think I’m going to do really good!”
2. “Well, I guess I have to learn sometime…”
3. “A little more practice and I’ll be able to do this…”
4. “Have you seen how they do this on that Rescue Show?”
5. “Oh me… I’ve done this plenty of times before… no, not on a living person yet… but they say its very similiar…”
6. “Can you stop that thing from beating… its throwing me off my concentration…”
7. “Last time I gave this drug the patient died…”
8. “Does it really matter that I forgot to ad the decimal point to my adrenaline injection?”
9. “I hope this deffibrilator still works in the wet…”
10. “Sorry, we can’t come to you yet… it looks like that thing’s going to blow any minute now… we don’t want to get too close to you…”
11. “You might have that rare and deadly disease… of course I’m not going to come in and get it too…”
12. “You’re call is important to us… please hold…”
13. “Do you know how to get to the hospital from here?”
14. “On second thoughts… which funeral home were you thinking of?”
15. “Is there anyone you’d like us to contact…when… I mean if… the worst should happen?”
16. “I’m just going to attach these electric pads to your chest…”
17. “Oops”
18. “I’m sorry, we just got a higher priority patient… we’ll probably come back for you soon…”
19. “I’m just going to put this white tag on your toe…”
20. Patient…”Have you ever seen a patient with these injuries before…” – Paramedic “Dozens of times… well, no, not on a living patient…”
21. “Wow… I can’t wait to get back to school and tell them what they let me do on my ‘work experience day’!”
22. Now, I just need to inject this little needle… into… your heart…”