Paramedic… I See Stupid People

This is a list of things that I have seen as a paramedic that identify “stupid people” – I make no appology to the stupid people in this article… I also wouldn’t worry if you think you were one of the people in this article, because most of the things that have occured here, have occured many times previously…

As I said before… as a paramedic… I see stupid people…

Paramedic  – Stupid People Story 1

I looked after a 45 year old female, who had only ten minutes earlier chided her son for wanting to lick the dangerous end of a electric cake mixing hand held blender. She then attempted to lick just a little bit, that was evidently irresistible. Unfortunately, the power was still on, and she ended up twisting her tongue around in positions that aren’t normally possible. It ended up taking more than 6 hours of surgery to remove all the bits of the little blade from her tongue and stitch her tongue somewhat back together again.

Paramedic – Stupid People Story 2

I looked after a 32 year old man who had been driving an enormous quarry truck – you know those trucks used at mines with wheels that are taller than most adults? Well, he had raised his dump tray (about 90 feet into the air) so that he could dump his load of dirt. And then, without lowering the tray, continued to drive away, until, several kilometres later, he tried to drive under a bridge at 80km/h – causing the up-right dump tray to collide with the bridge and flip the entire truck.

Paramedic – Stupid People Story 3

Patient walks into the Ambulance station, huffing and puffing… “I need an Ambulance”

Paramedic: “Okay, what’s wrong”

Patient: “I have terrible chest pain”

Paramedic: “Have you ever had this pain before?”

Patient: “Yes”

Paramedic: “What was it then?”

Patient: “The Dr said it was a heart attack”.

Paramedic: “Okay, when did this start?”

Patient: “About two hours ago…”

Paramedic: “Okay, so why didn’t you call us then?”

Patient: “I decided to walk to the Ambulance Station (about 3kms away).

Paramedic: “Why didn’t you call us, instead of walk here?”

Patient: “The Dr said that walking was good for the heart.”

Unfortunately, this poor patient  had a cardiac arrest and died two days later in hospital.