Funny EMT Stories

Paramedics often experience situations every day that are bizzare, funny, humorous, and often sad. I’ve watched medical take-off shows like SCRUBS, or MASH and know that people often think, “How do they come up with these crazy medical stories?” But the truth is… everything you see, does actually happen… and the truth is often dumber, funnier… and crazier than any possible fiction.

This EMT story starts three months ago….

It was a fairly quiet day at the office, as an EMT. Got the cup of coffee, had time to read the paper and eat breakfast at work.

At 1130 was called to a 3mth old fitting – not the sort of job that you want to go to, on any day… when we arrived, the infant had ceased fitting, and as is normally the way while attending paediatric patients as an EMT, the hardest thing to do is calm the parents down…

After checking and seeing that the infant was doing well and appeared normal for a post-ictal (after fitting) paediatric, I looked up to see mum, who was hysterically talking about how her baby was “dying.” I explained that everything was okay…  and she went outside to try and calm herself down… my partner followed her out to talk to her, and reasure her…

I look up at Dad who appears to be coping quite well… “I guess you’ve scored the ticket as the parent to come to hospital with us?”

“I guess so” he replies, and then, noticing that he’s still in his pyjamas, notes that he’d better get changed. I offer to take the baby, but am told that once she wakes up, she does not take to strangers very well and that he would prefer to look after her.

So, carrying the baby, he walks into his bedroom and starts to get changed, while one-handedly holding the baby. I tentatively look outside, and find that my partner is helping Mum, who has now fainted and is unconscious, laying on her side, on the ground, where my partner is trying to look after her. “I think she’s just fainted with the stress…” my EMT partner says, “she’s got a good stong pulse, and is breathing normally… do you want to grab me the viva (the oxygen device).” I grab him the viva, and at this point, her a blood curdling scream from inside…

I don’t normally run… ever…

But for some reason, this time, I did, what I would call as close to a run, or fast walk back inside, where I knew that the Dad and infant were the only two people inside the house.

I see Dad laying on the ground… wimpering… unable to speak, and the baby, appearing normal, but post-ictal on the ground beside him…

“Are you alright?” I ask…

He moves his legs closer to his stomach  in the foetal position… attempts to talk, but only an inaudible whimper comes out…

“I assess the infant, and am relieved that no changes in her condition has occured.

I look over again at Dad “Are you alright?”

He mumbles, “I need help… there…” and points to his zipper…

I don’t believe it… he’s caught himself in his zipper?

I cringe…

Do you want some pain-relief? I’ve got some good stuff in the Ambulance…

“No, this has happend before…” he looks at me… “the zippers caught on my penis ring… can you try and free it…”

I ofter some very minor assistance, but acknowledge early on that there is very little that I can do to free the zipper.

Ultimately, we required 3 separate Ambulances to treat 3 separate patients…

Mum: regained consciousness shortly after her fainting episode, and was transported to hospital for further assessment

Dad: spent two hours undergoing unsuccessful basic attempts to free his penis ring from the zipper… before undergoing a general anaesthetic and surgical interventions with success

Baby: had had her first febrile convulsion (hot seizure) and recovered fully within the hour.